John was six foot four, six inches taller than Joan, and felt TOO tall, like he should be in the NBA or something. John's hair just reached his shoulders before he'd started going bald at twenty-three, while Joan's fell below her hips and looked as strong and vibrant as ever. Joan looked ten years younger than her biological age of 30, while John looked at least ten years older. Joan was rather well-to-do; she'd become a millionaire by 40 the way life was treating her. John had trouble making ends meet. And while Joan had acquired and retained a sexy, feminine figure, John had always looked fairly plain and weak. Joan got all the dates in high school and was now Mrs. Harold Farris, while John was still single and dateless. She was a socialite about town, he was a loner in need of a life. It just wasn't fair, John thought. Why should Joan get all the breaks in life, while her twin brother was just another outcast of society? Joan even had two beautiful kids, for crying out. It shouldn’t have been a big deal as they had lived together for two years already and nothing had really changed in our relationship. We still had our weekly girls’ night, our occasional dares, our daily phone calls and our constant text messages. Yet, when she gave me the news, something triggered deep inside me. I had this empty feeling and then it was replaced by this overwhelming fear and then it was replaced by something I can’t explain. A light bulb went on. It didn’t flicker, it shined bright. I was in love with Gwen. Not as a friend, not as a sibling; no, I loved her in an ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you’ love.That night I went to bed alone thinking of the few times we experimented with each other. It started with drunken kissing a few times to tease the boys at the pub, then one time for the boys when I fingered her, on a drunken dare of mine, for their entertainment; on a few occasions we masturbated side by side as we watched some porn and then eventually.
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